Sunday, April 17, 2011

what I thought when I saw spring awakening

My Awakening with Spring Awakening
Is it a crime to feel love? This question was asked on January 15, 2011 to over 1000 people in the audience during a performance of Spring Awakening. Directed by Michael Mayer, Spring Awakening is the story of six (6) young boys and five (5) little women who are all experiencing their own sexual and moral growth in a town that is suppressed and believe all exploration is not only ill advised but an affront against god. Kingsbury Hall and the Broadway Across America Touring Company allowed me the privilege of watching these teenagers express their inner most feeling and thought through movement and song because they couldn’t openly speak. Original Choreography by Bill T. Jones was adapted to the Utah stage by Joann M. Hunter and captivated the minds of all in the audience on a completely empty stage, where the imagination of the viewers was put to the test. 
            Do you feel your life is a bitch? In act 1 the number Bitch of the Living (Joann M. Hunter) was performed. Moritz Schtiffle (played by Coby Getzug) leads the boys in a song about their first experiences with a wet dream. As this time period is late 1800 Germany, the boys were all in their private school attire and very stiff, that is until the music started. A school teacher yells at the boys and right as his line ends, three notes are played very hard on an electric guitar, young Moritz looses his posture and proper speech and begins growling into a microphone pulled out of his jacket pocket “God! I dreamed there was an angel…”. The song continued on with only him singing for about two lines when suddenly all the boys begin moving their right shoulder to the beat of the song until the line “It’s the BITCH of the living!!!” is yelled by all the boys who now have lost their posture and all have microphones in their hands. After those words are yelled the lights turn a dark red and the boys are now turned in all directions slamming their feet as hard as they can chanting “Bitch, Just the Bitch!” as young Moritz sings of their experiences. This stomping and anger showed their frustration perfectly, and really made the audience feel as if they were about to be hit from the anger in the room. As the song began to rise with its energy the kids got out of their chairs and began to wander the room kicking chairs and the air as they traveled, never once looking at each other to keep that “inner thought” aspect alive in the dance. The song continues until they hit the line “Do they think we want this?!” when they all stop and at the same time point directly at the teacher in the classroom and just stare him down. The song changes tempo after this moment and the lights fade to blue for a more touching feel as the boys describe their feelings for the girls and even some of the men in the town, because this is slow the dancers took on a slow motion beat, still stomping their feet but now without sound and only about ¼ the speed they were just going. The song suddenly picks up to full speed again, red lights blaring twice as bring, stomps twice as loud and chaos on the stage, the teenagers were rolling on the ground, jumping over chairs, kicking the air, nearly running into each other even. The line “God! Is this it!?” suddenly was sung by all the boys and they all hit a synchronization of stomps until traveled into a circle, after breaking this circle they went to their chairs, climbed up on them and with the line “Oh god! What a bitch!” they jump off the front of their chairs, sit sharply at the same time and are instantly back into their original postures, returning us to the “real world, classroom.”
            Bitch of the Living was a very moving piece that made the audience cheer, but not as much as the number in act 2 entitled Totally Fucked (Joann M. Hunter) sung and performed by the entire cast. At this point in the show, leading man Melchior Gabor (played by Christopher Wood) has been accused at aiding with the suicide of this friend Moritz and, on top of that, others are discovering that he impregnated his lover Wendla (played by Elizabeth Judd). The entire cast is sitting on stage moving their heads from looking at him and looking back out into the audience as the first riffs of the song hit and the lights slowly change from a whit to a purple and red color. “There’s a moment you know…your fucked!” is sung by the lead boy as his posture, yet again, changes and he pulls the microphone from his jacket; taking us back to the “internal world.” Three boys stand up and sing along with Melchior, making very nice levels of one boy standing 3 girls sitting until the next boy standing. They were also very stiff and still had their posture and even straight arm movement even though Melchior was loose and very modern. I felt, personally, that this showed the conflict of doing what those around you say and believing what you believe. The kids all move upstage, passing the adults as the words “blah blah blah blah” are chanted, the lights switch very sparsely and in nearly half a second, as they go back into the “real world” for a quick line and as soon as they changed they change right back for verse 2 of the song. The kids moved back downstage as Melchior began singing again, now all with loose and modern movements even moving their feet or moving their heads to the beat of the song, and for the first time in the show all looking at one another and interacting. I loved this because it gave the number a more universal feel. The chorus stands and sings the song as Melchior suddenly goes back to a stiff posture but with sharp, and big yet fluent movement makes hand transitions. The first is to his face, burying it, then moving over his chest, abdomen, back to the chest, crossing his arms and resting his hands on his hips, putting his hands behind his back and moves his head in one big circle, crossing his arms in a huge motion across his face, hands moving across his shoulders until both fully extended at the sides and then moving his left hand to meet his right and following it up the arm and to his shoulder, hands together now he moves them down the front of his legs and up the back. He then repeats the entire movement twice while standing between two parents who are frozen. This added so much to the conflict theory I had earlier. The lights switch and the music stops as Melchior admits to the deeds and the music comes back up in full blast, drums slamming and guitars shredding. The cast stands up and in that same posture do their own their own individual hand movements like Melchior just did. Some were moving from ground to head as others were just in the chest region of their body, it was all happening so fast it was hard to see what was fully going on with each individual amongst the chaos. I loved every second of it. It all comes to a halt as they face forward and with hands in fist begin yelling at the audience “BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH!!!” After their yelling they all begin to move in the more modern posture and everyone is dancing again in chaos as the lights begin to turn psychedelic and strobe lights are even slightly incorporated. Everything from random bouncing to pirouettes and grande jettes were being performed on stage for about thirty seconds until they all hit their individual poses with the final yell of “TOTALLY FUCKED!!!”
            These numbers stood out to me because of the choreographed chaos and each number was praised with applause that felt like they lasted forever. The best part of this performance was that every number was like these, their every movement expressed the feelings of the characters in the show and only the characters in the show, and if any feeling such as love or hate was on a universal scale the entire cast was involved with it. Transitions were my most favorite part. The show never stopped and the bare empty stage made bringing on and off scenery fluent and simple. The performers did amazing at the transitions as well. For example, in the number entitled My Junk (Joann M. Hunter) the girls went from being silly little girls jumping around and daydreaming to having a boy bring in a chair right in the middle of them and began a rhythmic masturbation movement, these silly girls suddenly became this boys fantasy and all it took was a shift of the light and proper positioning of the performers. The simulation of sex was also incorporated into the story through the song I Believe (Lucy Skilbeck). Though many may just believe the actors were doing the scene, the entire scene was choreographed. The music would speed up as their passions rose, slow when she was unsure and became lyrical as she finally gave herself to him. Any thrusting or movement was done on a beat of the drum and in synch to make the scene and story told in full. My favorite though was a movement the girls did to represent their “blooming” it was a movement over their chest and their hips with a bent wrist shaping their figures. In the number Touch Me (Joann M. Hunter/Lucy Skilbeck) the boys ask each other “how do you think the woman feels?” and in their thoughts as the song climaxes they follow a “blooming” girl doing the exact same choreography and creating their own “figures.”
            This show Captivated me and made me cry several times through their movement and song. I really felt like I was feeling their feelings and in many ways as a young man it related to me. I would suggest this show to anyone on any level amateur or professional, the story itself and the movement within the story is brilliant and will not soon be forgotten. Perhaps life is a bitch, and in the end your totally fucked, but our experiences are our own as we awaken into life.

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

IN ALL THINGS....

I AM THAT I AM!!!

greetings my blog and hello to all of those who read....surely you have little life if your following me lol i'm kidding. but this blog is an update more for me than it is for readers so for all of you who would like to stay for the ride, by all means keep reading. though I'm not going to explain all that I say, ok here we go! yipee!


Me as I see Me

In this point in my life I'm no longer unhappy as I have posted a few months ago. A little while back I "opened the door" as it were, to where I was explained the unexplainable by ME things I couldn't see about life and things that I wasn't really willing to let in were introduced to me and it gave me new eyes as it were. yesterday I celebrated my 21st birthday. twenty-one years in my physical form and I couldn't help but pat myself on the back. I always complain on the training I need and all the things that I need in my life when it comes and how much I have to learn. Yet I hardly ever take the step back to not look ahead but look back. I have opened myself to the ME that be ME (yes i stole this lol) I DO have alot to learn but look how much I HAVE learned. I have realized the me that has alway been dormant and always been afraid to show simply because it wasn't part of the "status quo" that is human conciousness. I look now at where I was performance wise and skill wise yet a year ago and how much I have grown! The people in my life that I have kept dear and close, those who I have kept distant, and those who I have had to ask to leave my life. All there for a purpose and for lessons, ones in which I will be forever grateful. I now wonder and yearn with intense anticipation on what life holds for me. I will never be not ready for something in my life, the universe jsut doesn't throw me things I can't handle, I can make ANY choice I want and be sucessful at it with the proper work, WE ALL CAN, so why don't we do it? I realized I have had little trust in myself and my abilities both physical and not. I have been very lazy when it comes to my ME time and I keep trying to fix alot of things, when I should just let the univers be. at the age of twenty one I don't feel any different than when I was twenty, yet this shut down has happened in my life and I feel that it is only leading to a more INTENSE me, and this does scare me just slightly. I woke one day to my awareness and this intense growth has been an experience I will NEVER forget in this lifetime. To shut down and know its purpose is to become more aware of self, and not know what it holds when adjusting into it makes me scared yet excited at the same time because I know without a doubt it is only to make a more loving, attractive (not physically speaking), understanding,trusting ME.


My being ME has scared many people without them even realizing it. This "vibe" that I give off is complete honesty and even though I can be the worlds biggest bitch at times I really am an increadably loving being. Though, the only person I have showed little love to is myself. I do not fully trust myself and am constantly picking flaws in all aspects of life. If I had trust in but ten percent of myself I would be an entirely different person. I need to trust ME and all there is to me. My physical form of course is aprehensive because it has been put into "the box" and was born inside "the box" so this type of thinking is "wrong." But for a moment I "sat on my own lap" so to speak and asked myself...."WHY?" Why is it that if we are told something is good or bad it is automatically that way? many people will say they have an opinion and tell everyone that what they are doing is right or wrong but my question is who's opinion was given to them to make them suddenly "know" it is that it is? My answer was that there is NO "right" or "wrong" but LIFE. I dont wish to waist my time in this body wondering what to do with my life but how much i'm going to do in this life. and even further than that i don't wish to know how much i'm going to do either lol. I have taken words of a dear freind and thought long and hard about them. I don't wish to tap off my life and settle. I wish to experience all I can before I die, I'm so so young and have so much more to live for in this life, I want to have more thought than how many babies i'll have or whehter or not i'll flip burgers for the rest of my life. I guess thats why I'm freaky, maybe to the human eye I don't have my head screwed on straight or something, I'll probly never know fully to be honest lol                     
                                                                 

I see with new eyes every day when it comes to myself and I'm loving who I am becoming in my life. I have my flaws, and god knows that I'm far from a perfect being. But I LOVE where my life is now...I wake up ready to learn, I wake every day knowing I have people in my life that I love so very much and I live my days learning something new every day....twenty one years in my body may not feel different but looking back I see that It's experience like no other. And as for this shut down....Can't wait to power back up because I can feel into the potential its bringing and it feels pretty damn good! I LOVE ALL THINGS IN MY LIFE (even though sometimes i say i hate them hehe) And so it is..

I AM THAT I AM